It’s finally here. Though the months of anticipation, Outside Lands-related posts and Radiohead worship have been fun here at the Stranger Dance, it’ll be nice to get this bitch done with, so we can have some fun. So, in the spirit of community, good citizenship and milking this high-traffic cow one last time, we present the Stranger Dance Outside Lands Survival Kit. This will (hopefully) be everything you need to survive the day, minus the tickets, money, booze and drugs … if you’re into that type of thing.

Join us, won’t you, after the jump.

What is this thing?

Why, it’s the biggest concert in San Francisco since the Tibetan Freedom Concert in 1996. It’s also the first time any band has played in the park after dark. Bonus trivia: Did you know that the area where Golden Gate Park is now, was just miles of sand dunes before the park was built in the late 1870s? The entire area was known as the outside lands.

Who’s playing?

We’ve already gone over this. Pay attention.

Can I drive there?

Oh, you’re funny. No, driving would not be wise. Take the bus or Muni. There are a ton of buses that go by the park, as well as the N/Judah Muni line.

Where exactly is the concert?

You ask a lot of questions, and frankly I’m growing weary. The main stage is in the Polo Grounds in the middle of the park, and the other stages are to the north and east. Plan carefully, because the festival grounds are pretty big. Staying for the end of Beck will put you way in the back for Radiohead. Here’s a map from the festival organizers.

Obviously, everyone’s pumped to see Radiohead, but what bands are you guys most excited to see besides Radiohead?

Uncle Corey: Well, I have a dirty little secret – I’m only going Friday. Yeah, kinda lame, but honestly, there’s no other real draws for me. If I was going Saturday or Sunday, I’d be pumped to see The Coup and Primus.

The Stranger: Probably Broken Social Scene. I could be left really disappointed (depending on cast), but they have such live potential and I’ve never caught their show before.

Vague Panther: Broken Social Scene.

Scooter: Rogue Wave, Broken Social Scene, Bon Iver.

What are the don’t-miss bands each day?

Uncle Corey: Friday – Radiohead; Saturday – The Coup, Primus; Sunday – The Cool Kids, Mike Gordon

The Stranger: Friday – Radiohead and Beck; Saturday – Three-way tie between M. Ward, Devendra Banhart and The Coup; Sunday – Wilco and Broken Social Scene. If I had to pick one, it’d be BSS since I’ve already seen Tweedy & Co. several times.

Vague Panther: Friday – Radiohead, Beck, the Black Keys, Manu Chao; Saturday – Primus, Regina Spektor, M. Ward, Two Gallants, The Walkmen, Kaki King; Sunday – Wilco, Broken Social Scene, Andrew Bird, Rogue Wave, Toots and the Maytals, Stars, Bon Iver.

Scooter: Friday – Beck, Radiohead, Steel Pulse; Saturday – M. Ward, Sean Hayes, The Coup; Sunday – Wilco, Jackie Greene, Broken Social Scene, Andrew Bird, Bon Iver, Rogue Wave.

I know I’ll get hungry, what’s going to be there to eat?

So, there will be a veritable buffet of San Francisco restaurants peddling their food at the festival, but, fuck that. Eating at concerts is all about greasy food, overflowing condiments and fries. Here’s our picks for festival fare:

Uncle Corey: The huge burrito. Yeah, I know San Francisco is the burrito capital of the US, but concert burritos – you know the ones who’s primary ingredients are olives, sour cream and guacamole – are incredible. It’s not a real burrito, merely some strange hybrid, created to slake the hunger of music fans. Thumbs up.

The Stranger: Wow, between the Asquew and Pacific Catch it’s like a little Chestnut St in the park! I will likely dine on an enormous burrito and then take a nap during Regina Spektor’s set and get up for Primus.

Vague Panther: The inevitable tri-tip sandwich. (Ed note: Mmm, tri-tip sandwich – auuuggghhhh)

Scooter: Garlic fries

So, about Jack Johnson. … Kind of an odd choice for this festival, no?

Hey, listen, all the Marina Creatures need somebody to go see. OK, that was a low blow – no neighborhood divides here on the Stranger Dance. It’s all love. But, yes, Jack Johnson is a weird choice for a headliner, and being a firm beliver in swift and strong punishment for aural terrorism – were I going on Saturday – I’d be tempted to sneak in nice, overripe cantaloupe and aim right for the center of his guitar. But I’m a dick (and I really wouldn’t do that – though I did hit the lead singer of Candlebox in the head with a clump of mud once). I asked the other guys what they’d most like to throw at Jack johnson:

The Stranger: Nothin’ but positive vibes, brah.

Vague Panther: Nothing. Why? Because I’m jealous that he gets away with playing guitar and surfing all day. Ok, maybe a Curious George stuffed animal?

Scooter: Bags of coke to lively him up a little.

Pussies. Just kidding. I guess Uncle Corey is the only vindictive asshole of the bunch – but it’s all talk. Gotta respect the man, though his inclusion in Outside Lands is a bit questionable.

So, there you have it – now you’re prepared to take on the weekend. Seriously, this is a once-in-a-decade thing, so be sure to enjoy it. Oh, if you see somebody wandering around in a Stranger Dance t-shirt, it’s probably us. Come up and say hi!